Sharing

So, I've been thinking, and feeling guilty, that I have 2 whole posts and no mention of my babies. Why is it that as mothers, we feel bad for keeping something entirely to ourselves? Which is what I decided to do w/ this blog. Make it just for me. My thoughts, feelings, my spiritual journey, things I am learning, stuff like that. And I'll just have to make another for, and about my family.

They don't know this yet, of course. The children, once they find out I have something of my own, immediately want access to it. I find myself answering the strangest questions... "no, dear, you may not color in my journal." "No, lovey, you may not make paper airplanes out of the pages in my Bible." "No, you can not cut shapes out of my yoga mat, even if it does look like craft foam." "No, you absolutely can not have a taste of the $5 dark chocolate, sinfully wonderful candy bar that daddy bought JUST for me." "No, you cannot use my cell phone to take pictures of each others bums while you stand on your heads to send to Gramma!" Aaaahhh!!!

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. Am I selfish? Is it wrong to want some things for me? I don't think so. I would gladly give my life for my children. In some ways, I am, in that I am devoting myself to raising them. Which I am honored to do. I wouldn't want it any other way. I know I am blessed to be able to be home with them , to teach them, to enjoy them, to play in the snow with them, to teach them my faith by example, not just by words. I love them and I love to do these things. I don't feel I'm sharing my life with them, I'm giving it to them. Willingly and Thankfully.

But I am not gonna share my journal, or my chocolate bar!