Even as I type this out, I'm not sure I will post it. But I gotta get it out...
A well meaning, much loved person gave something to my children. One of them said, "no thanks, we're not allowed to have that". And I met with much skepticism and confusion and what felt like negativity from said person.
I know that people who do not have the same beliefs as we do will not understand the things we do. They will not understand why we no longer allow secular music and 99% of television anymore. Modesty isn't something most people even think about anymore. Things like that.
*side note- we have been under much conviction as to what we allow to influence our children, so have cut out TV & secular music. Not like my kids were watching MTV & listening to Marilyn Manson, mind you. More like Disney Channel and Hannah Montana. Just taking more into heart the verses we've been reading about being a friend to the world and if things aren't FOR God then they are AGAINST Him. Okay, that's my side note*
I do not expect people to understand; we're still coming to grips with these things. But maybe just to respect our choices and leave it at that. Even if you don't 'get' us, or think we're sheltering too much or whatever the case may be.
I was more upset and angry when the incident happened, but now I've calmed down a bit. And I feel bad for those who are lost. Who don't believe as we do- not because we're any better or superior at ALL, by ANY means! But because they don't know Jesus as a friend, guide and teacher. Because without Him, there is no hope. Because without Him, I'd be headed who knows where, getting there faster and faster.
I'm so blessed to have a Savior who is teaching me and helping me to grow. And I pray for the strength to stand by my convictions, even if persecuted; the ability to lead my children by example and the faith to , well, just hold it all together.
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I can understand your indignation...I have been there. I do not know all the details...I do not know how well you know this person. Was this person a friend or family...sometimes as we come in contact with those who do not undersatnd our choices learning how to gracefully extricate ourselves from situations can be most difficult. We have in the past accepted gifts that we knew we would not use so as to not offend. I tried to teach my children to be thankful for gifts and if the gift is inappropriate we would discuss it later. A closer friend or relative I would have been able to take aside later in private and explain our situation with grace so as not to appear ungrateful or judgemental in order to prevent wasting money in the future.
ReplyDeleteGod has humbled me many times and showed me that often He takes me through steps and phases. Some things I did not allow when my boys were younger I allow now. And some things I can look back on and see differently than I do now. And some things I see how my super strong stance wounded others, offended them, and wounded my witness for Christ. I have painfully learned that often I do not understand where others are and how God is working in their lives. I can only do what I know is best...and speak and act as if the other person too is being molded by God in the timing and method best for them. Somtiems they don't jive. Sometimes I am at odds with others. Grace is the key. For God has been so gracious to me when a light shined in on me and I understood somethign I didn 't before.
It is not right for these people to judge your parenting. They likely felt condemned in some say. Home schooling alone I have found people find as judgemental...because we choose not to put them in school. I can't help that. But I can gracefully try to do what I feel best while not being uncaring to the place that others might be.
I understand how you feel..you feel judged now too...I am sure God will help you forgive and give you grace for the future. He did me...and I did this many many times before I learned a less confrontational way of dealing with it. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. Blessings sweet sister.