Refiner's Fire

As I read a dear sister's blog yesterday, she asked, "what is your fire"? How appropriate for me. Because I feel I really am going through the flames right now. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is a refining fire; and that there is victory on the other side. But how it burns.

We are fighting, my husband and I , for our children. The Lord is teaching us so much; refining us, our beliefs and convictions, mainly in the area of our family. Training, teaching and raising our children to be soldiers for Him. That is all I want for my kids. To avoid the mistakes I have made. To love the Lord with all their heart and souls and strengths. And I know that we are doing the best for them.

Yet at times it feels like the harder we try, the harder we are attacked. Not by men, but by 'fiery darts'. You all know where those come from. It is a battle we are in; not of the flesh (although that is indeed part of it) but of principalities and things not seen. We are fighting for the souls of our children; for their place in eternity. I will not give up; I will not grow weary in this battle.

I am thankful that the children are coming to us with their questions. Even though I am often stumped; it is sharpening me. My heart breaks with the question, "why doesn't God answer my prayers?" But I thank the Lord that that question is brought to us, and not to the world. I'm so saddened when asked, "why does my best friend want me to act in a way that I don't want to?" and "it is too hard to tell my friends they are wrong". But thank you God for their honesty and openness.

Lord, soften their hearts. Make them more and more open to you; as you've made me. But please keep them from paths I've taken to get me where I am today with You. Lord, I confess my sins of inconsistency, doubt, anger, impatience and many others, concerning my children. And I ask You to continue to open the eyes of my heart. Forgive me. Please make me the woman you've called me to be. Please Lord, give me wisdom. As I read your Proverbs, I get overwhelmed; brand them on my heart. Thank you for you faithfulness. Thank you for answering our prayers, in YOUR time. Be with all the mothers today that are training children, of all ages, for your kingdom. Thank you for our Savior. In Christ's name, AMEN.

Dear Sisters (anyone who stumbles upon my poor attempts at writing and sharing my thoughts) Let's be diligent. Let's keep fighting. Let's keep running the race. Let us be refined by our trials; by these flames that burn. And forgive anything I've said that may cause offense; hence, my constant prayer for wisdom.