OK, so I posted about 8 hours ago. Left it up, got 2 comments and a phone call from a friend, to make sure I didn't drown myself in my swamp. Then deleted it. I'm a jerk. I'm a grump. I'm feeling like a failure. (I'm listening to my cat and dog run upstairs, then downstairs, over and over for hours like they do every stinkin' night!) I'm emotional and hormonal. I'm in need of some quality (wink, wink) time w/ Josh. I consider running down my long, dark, scary driveway, into the woods across the street just to see what happens. Would people follow me, join my cause, like they did Forrest, if I 'just felt like running'?
Anyway, what the heck am I talking about? I dunno. Did I also mention that I'm tired.
I just had a rough day w/ the chilluns. Went on my rampage. Hated myself for it. And now I am confessing it to the world.
I wish God would inflict me with coughing fits every time I raise my voice- ya' think He could really do that to someone?
I'm just wondering how some mothers have it all together - discipline, love, quality time, schedules, consistency, discernment, a great Walk, daily devotions- alone, w/ kids, AND w/ husbands; oh, I'm hurting myself here. I'm going to lay in bed, write in my journal (all the really good stuff I won't write here) and then sleep. Or maybe just sleep.
Ah, yes, gotta add that I'm sick and bloated. Called my dearest on his commute home and whined, 'do YOU wanna go out for dinner, cuz otherwise I'm just throwing chicken on the grill'. Guess which option he chose. So I gorged myself on Belgian waffles and bacon at IHOP. Did I also tell you I've gained weight? Ugh.
Now I'm really going to bed. Thanks for reading my tornado thoughts. Night.
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Ooooh, honey. Don't beat yourself up like that. We just heard a great message at church on Mothers' day how God specifically chose us to be our childrens' parents, and specifically chose our children to be ours, here, now. He doesn't mess that stuff up, no matter how WE may mess up. No one is better suited to mother your children than you. Lemme say that again. NO ONE is BETTER SUITED to mother your children than YOU.
ReplyDeleteI love you! :*
yep I have those days! I don't know one perfect mama; not one! We all need Christ's righteousness. Every one of us! And thank goodness that we have it!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above comment. G-d gave each one of our children to us. He wanted us to be their mothers! isn't that awesome? He knew they would need us as their mamas.
When we mess up we just ask for forgiveness from G-d and if need be our children and then move on with His help to be better. He gives us as many chances as we need. G-d's grace.... thank you Yeshua!
There is no mother like you described. When you are not perfect with your children you allow them not to be perfect. When you show them you can apologize for your wrong behavior you teach them it's okay when you do something wrong and how to go about it when you do. Being transparent with your children is a good thing. A perfect parent would raise perfectionists who are fearful of failure...which is something everyone does all the time. Big hug dear sister. It's okay. I SO know the exact feelings of which you speak. Been there, done that. Jesus over time has helped me so much to take to heart..."Now, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." AND "He is faithful to finish the good work He has begun in you." Keep fighting the good fight. You are teaching your children so much with your failures. They love you no matter what. god knew all of your failures before one ofhem came to be yet He still chose to give these children to you. CHOSE. It wasn't an accident. So keep on keeping on...you are the perfect mom-chosen by God for the job!
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